We are all familiar with the stories we tell others such as how our day went or a fun pastime as a child. But what about the stories we tell ourselves? We all have internal narratives, or stories we tell ourselves whether we are fully aware of them or not. The problem with being unaware of these narratives is that these stories significantly influence our entire experience with life, the choices we make, and the overall direction our life is headed. So who is writing yours and what are they saying?
The other day I did my daily ritual which includes a period of silence and openness to receiving wisdom or messages from Cerridwen. My results were, “explore your beliefs” and “what errored lessons have you learned?”. In the context of what I’m currently facing in my life, this was actually very applicable guidance that has completely catapulted me into some very deep shadow work.
When I contemplated these messages, I remembered that my traumatic childhood experiences wrote stories, programmed narratives, and built internal belief systems that have followed me throughout my life. Systems and stories that at one point helped me to survive but that now no longer serve a useful purpose. In fact, they now are a hindrance to my ability to thrive and are holding me back. The catch with this remembrance is that I have no idea what the root narratives of this particular issue is. I can tell that these wounds are incredibly deep and that if I want to heal them I have to be willing to go further into the dark. Luckily, I have Cerridwen by my side to help me do just that and Hecate who recently called out to work with me.
So, what are narratives and limiting beliefs?
Our experiences teach us lessons. In overly simplified terms, we learn from our experiences that “if x, then y”. Unfortunately, when those experiences are things like childhood trauma or infidelity in a relationship, we may learn errored lessons such as “when I talk, I get hurt”, or “when I commit, I get cheated on” or "all men/women are cheaters". We may then go through life saying very little, avoiding committed relationships, or constantly dating unfaithful partners. We may wonder why it's happening when really our choices are aligned with our errored beliefs and narratives and we are caught in a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies.
How can we identify them?
Many or most of us have these internal unhealthy or unhelpful narratives. They can and do exist within everything from what we think about food to how we perceive others and how we show up in relationships. The key to identifying them is to be self-aware. You must be able to and frequently practice taking a look at yourself and what’s going on inside of you. Exercises like meditation are extremely useful for this type of work as it intentionally clears the mind of clutter and allows you to really hear yourself from within.
There are also visible identifiers in your external life if going inward is too challenging just yet. For example, if you find that every partner you find is the same person with a different name and face, there are likely narratives you are telling yourself regarding relationships, people, or potential partners that are keeping you enclosed in a cycle. Until you uncover what those narratives are, you will keep finding the same partner. So, look for repetitive unwanted experiences or people that show up in your life. There’s something there to be learned and a cycle to be broken.
Another clue is to pay attention to your emotions. Part of becoming self-aware is knowing your state at any given time - what’s going on in your mind and what emotions you’re experiencing. When unpleasant emotions show up, especially when they are disproportionately intense or, again, if they’re in the context of a repetitive situation, there’s likely a narrative at play.
Lastly, more so pertaining to limiting beliefs, take a look in your life and see where you feel stuck or like no matter how hard you try, you can’t advance forward. Unhealthy or otherwise errored and limiting internal narratives and beliefs can wreak havoc in your life in a variety of ways so just look for what isn’t working, then explore yourself in that area.
How can we re-write them?
Reprogramming these internal narratives and limiting beliefs is no easy or quick task. In fact, it can be very painful, challenging work that can span over days, months, weeks, and even years depending on how deeply programmed they are, such as in cases of big trauma. Seek a therapist for this work if necessary. Otherwise, I recommend “trying on” different perspectives when you first begin the rewriting process. Which updated story or belief makes you feel a sense of freedom and expansion from within? When you find it, give it a shot. Anytime the old narrative comes up, repeat the rewritten version and move on. This is how re-programming works. Other internal and behavioral changes may be needed so do your part to align yourself and your ways with your new narrative and eventually it will become second nature.
Try the below enchanted rhyme followed by a period of meditation while focusing on a particular area of dis-ease in your life as a tool for self-exploration and see what internal narratives and limiting beliefs you can uncover.
Enchanted Rhyme
Show me the stories I tell to myself
The ones that keep my soul in ill health
That I may take the pen back in my hand
And be the author of my own life once again
Your internal narratives affect your entire life. Make sure you’re the one writing them.
PERSPECTIVE
Things like trauma can teach us lessons in life that leave behind errored narratives. Those narratives then become limitations from within, chains that only you can release yourself from. Make sure whatever stories or thoughts you’re telling yourself, were written by you and serve your greatest good. If they aren’t or don’t, rewrite them so they do.
ENCHANTMENT
Recite when you are struggling internally with something that’s showing up in your life. Then listen to the stories the deepest parts of you are telling.
SHADOW WORK
Where in your life do you feel held back, stuck, or like life just keeps repeating itself? What are the stories you tell yourself regarding these areas of your life? In what ways are your narratives supporting the cycle? How can you rewrite those narratives, stories, or beliefs to support freedom, expansion, and evolution?
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